The Spoked Traveller | Should travellin’ girl date you?
Trails and advice cycling around the world as solo female cyclist and adventurer
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Should travellin’ girl date you?

Should travellin’ girl date you?

Ok, by now many of you have seen the story, Don’t date a girl who Travels, which was quickly countered with, Date a Girl who Travels. If not, here they are: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/stephanie-ridhalgh/date-a-girl-who-travels_b_4719605.html

Ah, no thanks. A girl knows what she wants.

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The initial story painted the travelling girl as a dating flight risk: she’s nomadic, she won’t love you ever as much as backpacking. Well, there is some truth to that.

But, I have a third perspective to add to the discussion: why should a travelling girl date you? See what I did there? I flipped the question. I mean really, we’re all getting hung up on the girl. Is it is her problem for having wanderlust? What should you bring to the table?

But, it does pose a problem: who, and how, do we date when we’re living out of a suitcase? Here are a few thoughts.

Travelin’ man: you have to be ok with us leaving for months. Or, here is a concept: why don’t you come with us? I have a friend, another traveller, whose former love couldn’t handle her time away. They lasted six months. I am happy to report she has found a man, a fellow bike guide, who travels WITH her. Novel concept. Sure, it’s his job, but can’t you even go for part of her trip? Meet her somewhere? You should be a little more flexible for travellin’ girl.

Travellin’ girl needs a travellin’ man.

You cannot convince a non-traveller that the travelling life is the bomb if he doesn’t already have the travelling bug. At this stage of the game, 40ish, there is no changing such a major lifestyle requirement. And don’t even think of trying to settle her down. If you think that ‘settling her down’ will fix her affliction and your relationship woes, then you’ve just managed to nail her wings to the wall. Nice going.

For her, travelling isn’t a luxury, and it isn’t frivolous, nor is she trying to escape reality. It makes me think of the saying, all who wonder are not lost. Well, this is true. Travelling is her way of connecting with the world and people. She needs it to feel alive.

Love on the rocks: if we (travellin’ girls) meet you while travelling, chances are it won’t last. This isn’t to diminish the wonderful time together; it’s intense, it’s spontaneous, but just  because we met under the stars of an all night festival or at a cafe shop doesn’t mean that we are soul mates. Unless you are prepared to uproot your life and cross the ocean, then forget it. This isn’t going to happen. Try moving to Canada; it isn’t an easy thing to do. And, we won’t leave: Canadian girls love returning home.

 

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