You know the Food Network show Diners, Drive-ins and Dives? Well, I had the idea, on a recent trip to Las Vegas, Boulder City, Flagstaff, Sedona and Phoenix, to plot a trip around these diners. But more than that, I would pair the diners with an exceptional mountain bike trail. The diner food would be the reward after a long ride.
I call it, Diners, Dives and RIDES.
Here’s our journey through America; we’re eating and riding our way through a little, or giant in the case of diners, slice of America.
First day in Vegas
Staying at the Imperial Palace was about one thing: price. Two nights: $75. However, you pay for what you get: the carpet stunk of smoke, sweat and Vegas sin.

But the ultimate symbol of retro sin-city: mirrors above the bed and giant tub; I cringe to think what kind of nasty stuff took place in this room. Before checking out, Tom found a bag of Cheetos behind the bedside table. Yum. Have those for later.
We were upgraded to a Love Tub Suite. The tub could fit two adults side-by-side or four large dogs standing, or maybe even a pony, depending on the breed. We only tried one of these.

Fat Tire became our brew of choice for the trip–we picked up a six-pack every few days. Based out of Colorado, it’s the biggest microbrew in the States, or so we were told. www.newbelgium.com. The beer was inspired by a guy’s bike trip through Belgium; it tastes malty and toasty. Yum.
After our first night, I waited outside in the hallway while Tom ran back in the room to grab something; I could hear someone down the hallway repeatedly vomiting. Ahh, Vegas the next morning. Isn’t as glamorous as the night before, eh?
Our first morning we had a $50 breakfast at the Paris hotel. Who knew eggs could be so pricey?
We headed outside of town to pick up the bikes at Las Vegas Cyclery. www.lasvegascyclery.com
I rented a Santa Cruz Superlite for $200 (10 days) while Tom’s Ellsworth Epiphany cost a cool $350. Still, it was cheaper than taking our own. Delta charges $200 each way!
At the bike shop, I picked up every kind of energy gel: Powerbar electrolyte gellies (think gummy bears), Heed espresso gels, etc…all the kinds that you can’t find in Canada. I love that about the States: they always seem to have different shit we don’t have. But the ultimate post ride snack: beef jerky. Uncle Jim’s Teriyaki is dreamy. It’s also about 35% of your daily sodium allowance, but hey, I’m on vacation. I ate this stuff every day.
Driving to Cottonwood Valley outside of Vegas, I was skeptical. The newspaper headline that morning read: Record rainfall. Worst in 51 years.
Clouds had completely enveloped the mountain peaks and slanted rain hit violently against the van. We sat in the van parking lot: will it let up? A fellow Canadian we met at the bike shop was the only other car in the lot. Rain or shine, he was going: “I’m here so I might as well,” he told me. “My wife decided to shop.” Smart lady.
But yes, we did come here to ride, so, suck it up.

Heading out under the underpass, we picked up a six mile loop called dinosaur teeth — it’s south of the highway. Tight singletrack, the bushes were no higher than your ankle, but they were deadly: stay in the middle of the trail to avoid being impaled.
But the wind was the real worry: it blew me off my bike–twice! Seriously. Then, when Tom stopped to lower his seat, he was holding onto the handlebars and the wind picked up the bike. It floated–suspended–in the air.
Coming down was intensely fun; the last three miles of this trail are known as “the three mile smile.” It’s steep switchbacks followed by a section that levelled off and picked up speed. Lots of speed. Inside, I was yelling the entire way down: weeeeeeee!
It only took at hour before we were back in the parking lot.

Soaked head to foot, and in a bunch of other places, too.
Our first diner stop made up for it. We heard about the famous ‘bolis’ at the Four Kegs Sports Bar from the show. www.fourkegs.com.

Boli goodness.

Cheesy goodness.
On Jones Boulevard–northwest of the strip– is the real Vegas: strip malls and stores like Circuit City, Payday Title Loans, El Pocco Loco Tacos, and Shifty’s Bar: Slots, Food and Package liquor and my favourite, Capos. It’s an Italian mobster themed restaurant. Love the Godfather-inspired web-site. Check out the video at the start of this site. www.caposrestaurant.com
Strombolis are similar to a calzone, a pizza baked inside a dough pocket. Tom gets a small — it fills an entire dinner plate. We also order deep fried zucchini. I have the Sicilian p[izza–a deep hunky pizza. Very traditional.
On the walls, there’s a retro Coca Cola ad from the 1930s, a Coors Light poster: “official beer of Nascar” and a clock with Nascar legend Richard Petty (don’t think that I knew this. I had to ask). Four Kegs is hands down a sports bar: a screen, the size of the wall, is playing the game between Green Bay and New England and everyone here has a favourite team yelling out players’ names.
“What would you kids like?” asks Marybeth Cook, our waitress who calls everone kids. She’s wearing a Green Bay jersey.
The place, a series of tiny rooms, is packed to the rafters with families, guys, and college kids. It’s a Monday night.
Then, there’s Guy Fieri. He’s the dyed blond, sunglasses-behind-the-head-wearing host of Diners, Drive-ins and Dives.


These boards represent where guests come from. ”The board got so full we had to start another one,” says Marybeth.
I ask her how the show has changed business. “I thank god every day for that show. In the last few years 15 bars in this area have closed.” She’s deadly serious all of a sudden.
As we make our way south, and visit three more Diners, we discover the power of this show, not just to keep places afloat in a dire economy, but I discover that diners are a powerful place for communities and families. It’s one of the most heartfelt and endearing aspects of the States I have ever seen.