05 Oct Underestimating yourself
I thought I wouldn’t finish Epic Israel– three days of monster climbs, desert heat and almost 300 kms. We came in second.
My partner and I came in second?
Our category was four women’s only teams- the first place winners were the Israeli national team (oh, and did I mention that they were in their 20s?). I don’t feel so bad.
Part of the fear was that me and Karen, my partner, only started training about six weeks before the race. Sign up for the race started in February. Knowing that we were cramming in our training scared the crap out of me. I seriously think it’s why I broke out in psoriasis. My scaly skin was a reflection of my intense fear.
And while I won’t detail the race here, I’m leaving that for my Toronto Star story that will come out next week, I want to say that nothing feels better than surpassing your expectations. Or, more to the point, to take a risk and come out better for it. I was scared, and I was doubtful. Reflecting on the whole experience, now that I’m back home, I truly feel that the best years of my life are now and are ahead of me. Maybe I say this because I have a birthday coming up. But 44, I have found a new confidence from this race. Climbing those mountains on the last day, often walking some that were too steep, I embraced the pain. Inside I never thought, ‘oh, this hurts too much. I want to stop.’ I kept thinking that this pain, momentary pain, was a way to tell me I’m alive. This weird reasoning made me feel special. That no matter what I do from this moment on, I know I am always capable of more. And, this race proved that. Never think that you can’t. Just try. You might surprize yourself. I did.